"More work isn't the answer," advises Women's Running, this time using an "influencer" who shares a name with a leading asswipe manufacturer
An "influencer's" entire job is to appeal solely to the stupid, but Kimberly Clark's shithouse presence represents flat-out retard-on-retard cyberviolence
Over the past four-plus years, all three of Outside’s e-publications aimed at distance runners have passed through ill-defined but progressively worsening stages of misinformation-slinging, casual sexism and racism, typographical errors, and anti-scientific stank-mongering. While nothing in Women’s Running, Trail Runner, and Outside Online was ever destined for the sport’s tiny-to-nonexistent canon of memorable literature, as of 2019, these publications were nothing close to the thoroughgoing digital trash-heaps they are today. At this stage, Outside’s slide from superfluous at worst to dismal at best can only be attributed to the intentions of Outside CEO Robin Thurston, who sees every day how purely imbecilic and childishly wrongheaded the theses in his e-rags have become and does absolutely nothing about it except twiddle his dick and imagine becoming even richer off his gigantic river of electronic sewage.
The massive increase in hysterical nonsense in these and other fitness rags from dim, sputtering, misprogrammed, or chemically poisoned minds is entirely attributable to the machinations of shitlibs and the groups of “underrepresented” folx with whom these shitlibs patronizingly feign allyship. Shitlibs often attend “top” schools despite a median IQ in the range of 78 to 84 and in some cases mongoloid facies identifiable as such from across a four-lane highway. They are arrogant despite knowing next to nothing, and hyper-concerned about their reputations among thinking people even though thinking people—unbeknownst to shitlibs—are adroit at pegging retards as such and therefore simply aren’t interested in anything they advise, “stand for,” or associate themselves with.
This degraded class of people has come to represent a larger and larger share of self-described runners as American wealth inequality has become more pronounced. But, while libtardation is a noxious trait, it often results in the unintentional distribution of bleak but much-appreciated comedy. Many of these grim yuks stem directly from the neurotic, often masochistic drivers of shitlibbian principles and actions (rarely the same thing in practice), such as the idea that a fat drunken sociopathic slob magically becomes a dedicated athlete given enough melanin in her elephantine epidermis. But some of them arise from the fact that shitlibs are waterheads who demand the professional company of other waterheads, so libtards are responsible for a lot of dreck that burns the mind not owing to its unctuous, backward political content but because it’s idiotic from a general perspective.
(Shorter version, in the form of an axiom: Shitlibs are never, ever surrounded by genuine intellectual talent.)
On January 10, Women’s Running published an article titled “How To Take Your Running to the Next Level, Without Running.” This was the displayed title, anyway—the title in the page’s source code, of interest to search-engine indexing bots, is “5 Running Hacks That Don't Involve Running.”
While shitlib-runners are uniformly and definitionally lazy, unreliable, inept, diseased, and polytoxic people and organize their imprecations around these catastrophically disfiguring deficiencies, among the genuinely odd ideas they hold is that running isn’t even fun, and that people who insist on preparing diligently for races are bordering on silliness by trying to achieve this by adding more, and more regular, running.
You would think that if nothing else, this crowd of navel-gazing-addicted, mirror-gawping freaks would include a few people who would run for three hours a day if not for fatigue, injuries, or other obligations getting in the way. But even the life-dodging, self-loathing-propelled 100-mile-a-week “athletes” with pedestrian yet instructive personal bests have been replaced by mud-brained, ass-waggling gadabout-“coaches” whose advice, in the minds with anyone with a clue, reduces to a stream of rancid and noncontributory verbal fartfog—just clouds of uncreatively couched ignorance aimed at amplifying yet one more “Do less, get more, bitches” grift.
The author, Kimberly Clark, is an “influencer” whose Instagram handle is “trackclubbabe.” This would be obnoxious even were Kimberly Clark above a 7.8 out of 10 on the hotness scale, meaning that describing why her score is no higher is moot.
If this author’s name sounds familiar, it’s because it is strongly associated with the uncontrolled release of excrement and, in some cases, the optional and intentional release of semen, which in a cruel linguistic twist does not rhyme with Yemen.
That Clark’s article is standard clickbait is evident from either title. But for those anxious to learn about the five “hacks,” these are sleeping, nutrition, cross-training, form work, and strength training. None of these meet the definition of a hack (i.e., shortcut), but then this piece of corn-and-spinach-stippled turd in written form doesn’t meet the definition of an article and I keep defiantly referring to it as one anyway.
Clark starts this piece with a low-level attempted humblebrag, letting it slip that she once ran 80 miles a week while employed in the course of warning about the dangers of serious, focused running training.
Clark doesn’t say how long she ran this mileage for, or how she distributed it, or how hard she ran it compared to her fitness level. But in any case, she apparently doesn’t have the minimal intracranial candlepower to learn how to benefit from high mileage, as thousands of others have managed to do, often without any help at all from “influencers.”
Occasionally, a fit but overstressed runner can achieve a performance benefit by cutting back on training. But most people unable to attain realistic competitive goals aren’t overtired, they’re undertrained. Therefore, contra Clark’s bimbotic burbling, sometimes “more work” is not just “an” answer but the only answer. It helps to think of running, even hard running, as more pleasure than work, but swindlers like Clark looking to fleece the unusually undiscerning can hardly frame running as something runners should avoid if they suggest that anything about it is joyous or rewarding in the moment.
We also have to look at the basic evidence. Every world-class marathoner on Earth puts in over 80 miles a week regularly if not as a rule. None of them worked down to this level from 250 miles a week; each, in fact, started at 0 miles per week. An hour an a half per day (a proxy for 80 miles a week; these converge at 7:52.5 per mile) is not a great ask. If you’re not interested in being a good marathoner, then obviously you should fiddle around like Clark and her clients and remain in a comfort zone, always telling yourself that, no matter what, you’re probably doing better than you could have as a pudgy six-year-old.
Clark doesn’t even try to make her own claim to authority look clever or even credible, with her Instagram mini-bio boasting that she started out as a 6:08 marathoner and got herself down all the way to 3:11, a mere hour and close to 50 percent slower than the women’s world record. In other words, she started as a newbie and became a somewhat capable jogger. All on low mileage!!!!! ⚡️⚡️⚡️And, not that it matters much when we’re talking about runners this slow, but 3:11 is underperforming compared to the 1:27 half-marathon Clark says she’s logged. So once again we have someone boasting about being accomplished on low mileage while being too stupid to understand that she’s advertising, at least to people who can do simple arithmetic, that modest mileage has failed her personally.
She doesn’t vary this “I was slow, then a was less slow, ergo I rock” theme much, although she’s apparently one of those mid-pack clowns who’s a first-name basis with elite runners simply because she’s an “influencer.”
I have a story of my own. I went from a personal best of 21:06 for 5K to 51:32 for 10 miles by becoming a raging alcoholic. Then, after I practically drank myself onto the streets, I wound up in the top three in my age group two years in a row at the vaunted Bolder Boulder in my late forties. This is a true account, and these are all of the salient details needed to establish my smarts as well as my ability to get things done—for decades on end and while striving to ruin everything in my calamitous yet nimble and ever-accelerating path. Boo-yah.
Also, when I ran my marathon personal best, not only was I running well over 100 miles per week while holding a full-time teaching job, I was also coaching, meaning I was working more than forty hours a week. I was in a stable, loving relationship. I also had a cool dog, albeit not the same one I have now. I didn’t watch a lot of television. And in 2004, when I ran most of my other personal bests, I was also working full-time (at a fully accredited U.S. university, at that) and again had a stable, loving girlfriend, albeit not the same one I’d had three years earlier. No dog this time, just a shock-white cat named Walter.
Clark’s most recent contribution to Women’s Running before this list of “hacks” was “360 YOU: TrackClubBabe Gives Her Final Thoughts and Wishes For Healthy Running.” Obviously, and sadly, these were not in fact Clark’s final publicly offered thoughts, but one of them was:
Your value isn’t in your running.
Your value isn’t in how you look or what size you are.
You’d think almost everyone would be instinctively wary of such advice coming from someone who calls herself trackclubbabe and organizes her entire life around photos of herself running and making money from other people’s running. But because we live in a society in which most people possess no more practical intelligence than houseplant, Kimberly Clark has nearly a quarter of a million Instagram followers. And because the viciously lazy and cognition-hesitant waterhead-of-privilege Zoe Rom is at least partly in charge of what winds up in Women’s Running, this kind of giddily content-free training content is the norm.
The fact that Rom is still employed at Outside despite Women’s Running (where she’s the managing editor) and Trail Runner (where she’s the editor-in-chief) really makes me wonder what Jen Ator and Erin Strout did to get themselves canned from their posts at Women’s Running a little over two years ago. While Ator (who lasted two years in all) was supremely lazy, misplaced in the role, and oversaw nothing but Wokeblown garbage, and while much of that abject rainbows-and-white-hate garbage was written by Strout, this was in fact exactly their job as employees of a contemporary corporate-run fitness-media outlet. And I don’t see how they were doing any worse a job than Rom, under whose tenure the number of basic typos has probably increased tenfold (Strout might qualify as borderline mentally retarded, but she’s nevertheless a diligent proofreader of her own bullshit).