Outside deserves recognition for its covid coverage, which was supremely ignorant, self-contradictory, destructive, and perfectly tailored for its shitlib-snowflake audience

Anyone who ever so much as thought "Stay inside, don't exercise, it's the healthy thing to do" is in no position to offer a single runner advice, much less write for even degraded publications

In mid-November 2020, eight full months after the rollout of the most recent “pandemic,” Trail Runner editor-in-chief Zoe Rom (then still experimenting with stylizing her surname “Rhom”) wrote a piece for Trail Runner titled “Prioritize Your Mental Health Amid Coronavirus Madness.” In her piece is this line:

While running is still encouraged (with appropriate social-distancing practices) and can help reduce stress levels, we should all prioritize our mental health.

I am trying to figure out how American hominin life forms reached so grotesque and apparently irredeemable a collective state—one in which even the editor of a running magazine, published by a company named Outside, not only at best tepidly advises runners to go running as a means with coping with life, but even displaces running from the list of critical life coping skills.

Think about how much of an absolute moron someone has to be to tell people to avoid doing the one thing assured of improving their mood because feeling better should be their main goal. No wonder Rom thinks that David Roche, who along with his dingbat wife Megan also operates at the sub-fuckheadian level, is a capable coach and writer.

One of my friends, who is quite elderly, had a serious fall recently and is now recovering in an extended-stay facility one town away. This was frightening for self-evident reasons, but she is doing remarkably well. But while recuperating from a broken elbow and other bruises is clearly taxing at any age, the joylessness of merely being in one of these facilities since the onset of this never-ending, contrived pandemic is hard to overstate, because these businesses have remained eager to re-institute masking rules for the past several years whenever The New York Times, the Centers for Disease Control, or some other beacon of frank bullshit so much as utters a polite belch about a “dangerous new variant.”

If you are in remotely good health and worried about becoming seriously ill or dying from any kind of coronavirus variant, my non-inflamed heart goes out to you. You’ve been tricked, and if you’re still in the dark, you may never see the light of reality again. You are a victim of considerable and deliberate cruelty, and the people responsible deserve to be thrown in dungeons occupied by the most sadistic sodomites in the history of nonconsensual buttfucking. They deserve to perish apace; their bank accounts should then be drained, and any inheritance-seeking relatives who complain about this should be lined up against the wall of the nearest town or city hall, turned around, made to bend over and grasp their ankles, and shot directly in and about the asshole and taint until dead.

If, however, you are not merely experiencing but actively spreading bullshit-based fear, then you’re of a piece with the sadists above and deserve no sympathy; the world would be better off if you overdosed on fentanyl, tied a cinderblock to your leg, and submerged yourself in a very deep lake just as your respiratory functions were beginning to fail so that no one—not even starving raccoons—would even have to look at your pitiful remains.

R(h)om was back less than three months later with “A Guide To Trail Etiquette In The Age Of Coronavirus.” Since the entire thing is a mess, it’s hard to choose a passage that best represents what an agonizingly mindless person Rom is, but this will do:

Follow all CDC social-distancing guidelines, and do not run in groups. If you see people not complying with social distancing, kindly explain what it is, and that continued trail use depends on everyone doing their best to respect those guidelines. It’s possible that people not complying are simply unaware and could be new trail users, so practice compassion and kindness. 

Because I know that covid-related mandates are soon going to spread beyond post-hospital care facilities—the Biden admin will be using a strategically timed “pandemic,” including lockdowns like 2020’s, as a means of further trying to bitchrig the election next year—I just want to put it out there that anyone who makes an issue of me running with other people, maskless, had better be ready for a visit to the local infirmary, with maybe 37 of us going at once and overtaxing the facility, because this shit is not happening again for me. I know Rom is just blustering here and would never actually challenge anyone in this way on the ground, and the same goes for any bozos who read such pious crap with their flat and misshapen heads nodding. But my tolerance for liars, idiots, and the uninformed could not be lower.

Had Rom written this in March 2020, I could give her somewhat of a pass, because I learned then to my dreary irritation that very few Americans knew that coronaviruses viruses aren’t spread outdoors at all, much less capable of infecting people over distances of thirty feet in passing encounters. I’m aware of how powerful the propaganda was and that very few Americans know anything worth knowing about biophysics or science at all—most people traditionally haven’t needed to in order to navigate their everyday lives. (That’s not the case now. The moment some lying cable-news or Facebook shitbag declared that people who do their own research were bound to wind up dumber, everyone with a brain took this as a cue to not trust anything the government said about the coronavirus.)

This rehab facility in Louisville hosting my friend had a sign posted on its front door about a week ago claiming that a new covid outbreak was underway, and that masks would be required to enter. As a sign of how useful their policy would be even if masks helped prevent the spread of airborne viral diseases, this only applied to the first floor and not the second. And the staffers of this place were wearing those especially pointless rectangles-with-strings that started creating massive amounts of litter everywhere in the spring of 2020.

I don’t have any hope at all for an animal that, in huge numbers, wears a pointless barrier across its face as a sign of consideration for others and then throws the barrier on the ground afterward instead of just wearing it until a trash can appears. Some of these people can be excused because this is the only “fuck you” they could think of to respond to moronic ad hoc laws, but littering is littering and most these assholes should be sentenced to half an hour in the aforementioned freewheeling buttfuck-dungeon. (To state the perhaps obvious, the kind of activity I imagine unfolding in this lock-up would actually generate licks of anorectal flame and extraordinarily foul smoke; 30 minutes would seem like 30 years even to an experienced, if closeted, Republican member of U.S. Congress.)

Here’s the answer everyone should give when challenged by Karens or other punchable, kickables, shootable, and stabbable parties on this issue:

If you want to wear a face mask and believe that it works, then you should not be concerned at all if no one else in the world is wearing one, because if you believe yours works, no one else’s decision matters.

Anyone who argues with this is just unspooling religious drivel, and is not concerned with either safety or reality. These are constitutive losers who just want you to comply so you can be as chronically miserable—and often, desperate for standing in the world even when it means lying about literally everything—as they are. And since even the best masks don’t stop illnesses from spreading, this is all moot anyway.

Wearing a mask at this stage is advertising to the world that you are a substandard citizen who would be better off in an institution for the permanently stultified and irritating, or in an open-air prison for people who just didn’t turn out right. We need dual, separate, non-overlapping U.S. populations—one for the drooling, vacant-eyed Anthony Fauci fans and the other for people who don’t cheer on mass murderers posing as doctors who have never seen a patient in their lives. Just put them in cells with 24/7 access to CNN and MSNBC along with each other’s baboon-level bitching about “misinformation spreaders.” (Any buttfucking or other modes of fornication in these places would be consensual, at least if the guards were paid off, but also ill-advised, as most of the inmate-residents would be fat white women or men built like nubbed tampons.)

Rom was back a month and a half after her “etiquette” piece with “Opinion: The Pandemic Is Not a Marathon.” The best bullshit line from this one:

It’s been a year of watching friends die and family members enter the hospital, of Zoom funerals and Zoom school.

Zoe Rom, who might be 25 but ii emotionally and intellectually frozen at age 14, is a liar. I’d bet anything she didn’t know a single person who died of covid and almost none who even went into the hospital. What a hysterical jackhole.

In April, after the mRNA shots started poisoning people in significant numbers, Trail Runner published an un-bylined piece, “No More Masks Outdoors, Says the CDC.”

Anyone who had not yet learned by this time that the CDC was lying nonstop should not be playing information-merchant. Some people know how to seek out accurate information, while others unfailingly believe what the government says even when government advice contradicts what their own eyes and other senses are telling them.

These people populate Boulder in alarming numbers and are hopeless. Many have Trump Derangement Syndrome; most of their kids are squint-eyed, slack-faced budding soy-authoritarians, and they will continue to swallow, snort, guzzle, or have shot into themselves each and every new poison the CDC recommends and tell at others to do the same even as their limbs become as gangrenous as their minds. I don’t know what factors creates such needy, no-creativity, underconfident sheep-people; to me, they look goofy and weak by choice, which is highly improbable. But they’re everywhere now, so I guess we should figure out how we can properly dispose of them without getting arrested or overly slicked with their putrid entrails and other gore.

Why do so many adults with college degrees—and I’m far less worried about the supposedly uneducated at this stage—require people and institutions in which to invest blind, unexamined trust? Should every potentially fertile American quit copulating with a member of the opposite sex without at least three layers of buckskin condoms in the mix, to prevent more of these shit-slab albatrosses around our necks from appearing?

In May 2021, someone using the name Howie Stern wrote a gratitude essay that Trail Runner published entirely in boldface. It’s a masterclass in avoiding the use of the active tense and therefore automatically sacrificing two letter grades from the end result. It mentions “sinewy trails,” which I would bet was an effort at “sinuous trails.”

Then, in November, peripatetic and shambolic half-Peruvian, half-bullfrog chimera Emilia Benton supplied a piece titled “Nervous About The Return To Racing? You’re Not Alone.” Highlights:

The pandemic certainly isn’t over, but many parts of the country have returned to some level of normalcy with increased vaccination rates.

If you’re essentially starting from scratch and know you don’t have enough time to adequately train for a race that’s in a few weeks, that’s an example of when it would probably be a good idea to sit it out.

Whether it’s just because you’re still not comfortable with the state of the country and the world as we’re still trying to beat COVID, or you’re simply just not feeling enthused about racing if you’re not back at your peak fitness level, that’s OK.

Anyone who hadn’t figured out that the “vaccines” were doing nothing by November 2021 stands no chance whatsoever of surviving the next five years. Benton will be dead or looking like Jamie Foxx or Justin Bieber by March of 2027, because she and her ilk will be the first to line up for any new death-potions the government “suggests.”

This bitch should just stop. I mean really. On one hand, it’s entertaining to consider that Benton sees herself as capable, even as skilled. It’s bad enough she’s unaware of her own ignorance and incompetence, but this is also understandable, as her fellow harpies and the special-needs fatties, pussies, and cross-eyed dildos now in charge of publishing Runner’s World —which also lied to and misinformed people constantly throughout covid, often in the same pidgin English—have given her lots of work.

But she’s not merely cashing the undeserved checks and shutting up, which would be one thing. Benton has the nerve to be condescending when she’s slow, ugly, hostile, and unintelligent. As with Jonathan Levitt and other Wokish joggers, I almost envy the ability some people have to add about 50 artificial IQ points to their own cognitive powers and somehow believe in the validity of this trick. But I think that pulling this off requires being both so brain-dead and so eager to avoid criticism that very few runners possess the requisite combination of low mental candlepower and absolute spinelessness.

In February 2022, Malissa Rodenburg, a regular contributor to Women’s Running who is genuinely flirting with functional illiteracy, authored “How Going for a Run May Improve Your Response to Vaccines.” This was nothing more than Outside, Inc. “cleverly” advising people to get the mRNA shots. Perhaps the most incredible thing about it is that it completely contradicts Rom’s persistent “Don’t run, it might stress you out” message. And I wonder if it ever occurs to any of these chittering emo fools that simply not focusing all the time on concepts like depression and the notion everyone your age is suffering from it is a good way to not feel depressed and hopeless.

Finally, last September, Trail Runner commissioned a demoralized medical doctor named Jeffrey Sankoff to produce “Finally Some Good (Well, Less Worse) COVID News For Athletes.” This is a flak piece, and confirming this is easy: It claims that covid-19 can cause myocarditis but does not mention the word vaccine or its derivatives once. I am not sure whether Sankoff is just a bad doctor or whether he’s a pharma shill, but either way, if he really works in an emergency department, the world would be better off if a gang-banger came in and unloaded an automatic weapon directly into his left nostril. This would ultimately keep one incompetent physician from recommending or doing things that might result in the deaths of dozens or more people.

Now, any of the “journalists” or other sources of “information” mentioned in this post and upset by any of its characterizations have a few choices. They can:

• Double down on their words from 2020 through 2022 and claim that history proved them right.

• Admit they were wrong and say they’ll try to do better next time.

• Continue to behave as the retards, cunts, and cowards they are, believing and spreading dangerous ideas and other overtly foolish suggestions at every turn.

We already know which it will be. And I have no interest in trying to extract confessions or admissions from people this deep into lives as deplorable faggots and cunts. I am just preparing for the next round of sycophancy from some of the most arrogant de facto lobotomy victims on Earth.