Unrepentant, wrinkly dopers Beth McKenzie and Ashley Paulson clean up in separate ultras over the weekend

Trashy old ladies like these would be an embarrassment to MUT if the environment didn't already over-select for cheaters and the flaming douchebags who love and nourish them

Two musty long-distance runners previously suspended for doping violations achieved podium finishes this weekend, with one, Ashley Paulson, winning a 100-mile race in Las Vegas and the other, Beth McKenzie, taking second in a 102-kilometer (63.6-mile) race in New Zealand.

Interestingly, both are American former triathletes in their forties previously suspended for using the same banned androgen-like substance (ostarine). Both are also listed as female, although given the ostarine and other suggestive factors, the combined length of their clitori is probably in the four- to seven-inch range (10 to 17.5 cm).

I wrote about Paulson’s controversy-laced win at the 2022 Badwater Endurance Run. This was when I first gained a real sense of how unconcerned with honesty or ethics the kinds of people who now gravitate toward these fucked-up footraces truly are.

Paulson never admitted to any conscious wrongdoing. Neither did McKenzie, who had no good explanation for her positive test in 2016 and who lives in Australia, evidently with a husband with a thing for huge unruly clits. I had never heard of McKenzie until today, perhaps because 2:37 over-40 female (or “female”) marathoners are no longer athletically noteworthy.

Justin Mock of iRun duly noted both weekend feats as well as the pertinent doping backgrounds of both athletes, who in their post-suspension athletic lifetimes have sought out distance running’s least competitive and most poorly monitored crannies.

Meanwhile, over at the newly hatched e-rag RUN—yet another needless and already fuckup-strewn Outside venture—Abby Levene also provided coverage of both events. Levene, however, opted to disclose the fact of McKenzie’s past doping suspension while ignoring Paulson’s, even though these punishments were levied at around the same time. I strongly suspect that this is a product of ignorance, not bias, as Levene is a startlingly inept writer and reporter even by the industry’s infra-ramshackle quality standards.

Every other successful mountain, ultra, and trail runner either seems to getting suspended or racking up post-suspension glory. Levene’s analysis of this climate:

It takes some mental work for the literate to gamely rearrange this slop into useful words and sentences, but anyway: Levene is claiming that the professionalization of trail running is threatening to destroy the discipline’s supposed status as a haven for simple, impecunious, or just plain rattled folks who in the main wouldn’t dream of cheating. Good one! Sure, a lot of trail runners have always either naturally attained or actively worked an “outcast” vibe, usually involving a van with a cot inside it.

But even before the formal influx starting around five to ten years ago of brain-damaged retards of privilege like the David and Megan Roche, Zoe Rom, Ellie Pell, and other grifters and low-intracranial-wattage snobs, there were plenty of degraded people hanging around ultras. No one of any in-group prominence I know of has ever been fervently anti-cheating when it comes to these mostly talent-starved races. Dean Karnazes has served as a one-man factory of fantastical bullshit for two decades, and plenty of ultrarunners treat that yammering clown as some kind of guru.

The triathlon environment, of course, exists as its own category of moral depravity, with most of its men insufferable, fagged-up douchebags and too many of its once-hot women winding up speaking in basso profundo voices. This is before they become trail runners. And this crowd is really big on the “they served their time, it’s over” excuse—as if any athlete who has ever used drugs to gain an edge, then been caught and shelved for a while, would ever return to the same environment and compete “clean.” Even assuming that drug-cheating athletes exist who undergo eventual ethical cleanses—and I would certainly bet that McKenzie and Paulson have not—why would anyone want to compete knowing how many uncaught dopers are flitting around at any time?