Another review of David Roche's soggy, straight-to-compost word salad for Trail Runner
Outside, Inc. cut 15 percent of its staff recently, yet retains room in its budget for stream-of-consciousness, internally inconsistent rambling
David Roche is an amazingly inept communicator for someone with a law degree. Yes, lawyers are often shambling, beaming moral vacuums who take a lot of well-deserved heat for being lavishly rewarded in the American economy for lying to rooms full of people and often the entire world, all aimed at eventually purchasing an expensive Boulder property to provide gluten-free substrate for the wobbly local school system and fuel (often mahogany) for the area’s now-unrelenting wildfires. And Roche is a typical 2022 white fitness-grifter who quietly deletes inconvenient content while dodging and not naming his critics, whom he dismisses as mere “haters” lest anyone in his half-starved army of coaching clients catch wise.
But if nothing else, attorneys are usually adroit at producing prose that is precisely as readable as they wish it to be. Roche does not appear to be a practicing attorney and for all I know never passed the bar exam. I have known people in real life who appear to be at least as blinkered as he is who are licensed to practice law in multiple states. But if he’s madly churning out unedited pieces for Trail Runner for maybe $200 a pop (the amount I was paid for each of the ten articles I wrote for the since-euthanized Podium Runner in 2019 and 2020 that someone at Outside, Inc. deleted from the site last year thanks to my voluble critiques of the company’s suite of dilapidated publications) and appears to not have a brain in his head, it’s natural to speculate about such things.
Roche has also attracted the attention of a Beck of the Pack reader who has won at least one fifty-miler and has completed the Western States 100. This person sent me an unsolicited review of Roche’s June 14 Trail Runner article “How to Prepare for the Western States 100,” a race he has never run himself. After I posted this review, several readers seemed to think I had done the review myself and that it was the funniest thing ever to appear on this site. One of those things is probably true, but the other definitely isn’t.
Today this analyst supplied me with a review of “7 Quick-Hitter Takeaways From The 2022 Western States 100.” It is best imagined as a spoken conversation, possibly between Monty Python characters, because I think that if someone said these things to David Roche while standing right in front of him, he would just keep talking and saying the same things until some switch in his head randomly flipped itself into the STOP FOR NOW position.
The morning of the 2022 Western States 100, I woke up with a sudden bout of extreme knee pain. All week, I had been going from event to event in the pre-race festivities.
Was the knee pain from kneeling and kissing ass?
But I forgot the first rule of ultras: Pace yourself.
You first.
I saw my co-coach Megan get named the Western States Research Program Director along with her collaborator Emily Kraus, and I couldn’t stop bragging about that (so proud of them both!). I attended the Freetrail live podcast episodes (all amazing). I recorded 2 podcast episodes with Megan about the race (dirty jokes abound). I was given 3 pairs of free shoes (good, interesting, and horrible, respectively, but a boy never tells). And that was just by Wednesday.
Honestly, good for Megan. I’m glad you’re proud of your wife, but I’m not sure the bragging and your freebie-grabbing specifics are warranted in a “Quick-Hitter Takeaway” article.
By the time the race rolled around, I think I suffered from OSS, or Over-Stoke Syndrome. My nervous system was ready to snap if I uttered one more “woohoo!”
OURS TOO, champ. ;)
If you followed this year’s coverage, I imagine you might have some OSS, too.
No, but reading this I have some TNTG (Trying not to Gag) syndrome.
So let’s keep this recap confined to quick-hitters about seven things I loved about this year’s event. Hopefully I don’t get any more stoked, or they may have to amputate.
1: Live race coverage is the future of the sport. (ESPN, are you listening?)
ESPN is certainly not listening.
Dylan Bowman and Corrine Malcom could announce the live broadcast of a traffic camera, and I’d tune in.
Yikes. Not giving me too much confidence in your taste. Enjoy your traffic footage, though!
I haven’t seen Top Gun: Maverick, but I imagine it’s 72% less exciting than a drone shot of Drew Holmen and Tyler Green moving up through the field at mile 54.
You sure like to imagine things; not sure why you couldn’t make your shitty analogy about a movie you HAVE seen.
Just the week before, the Broken Arrow Skyrace had similar coverage … If there’s a wide audience for road cycling, there’s a wide audience for trail running.
I’m not sure anyone would be skeptical that another race had similar coverage. I’ll take your word for it. What proof do you have that there is a similar audience for trail running as there is for road cycling? Is the audience for road cycling even wide?
Prediction: the trail world is going to undergo a fundamental shift in the next 10 years as media companies realize that trail running coverage has the drama and visuals of an episode of Planet Earth, including all of the chase scenes (but unfortunately none of the f**king unless a broadcaster gets really creative).
I’d say some f**king would enable trail running to have a wider audience.
2: More corporate investment is good for the sport.
In every subculture, there is a tendency to yearn for the good old days. When I find myself feeling like a curmudgeon, I think about Saturday Night Live…
I thought this article was supposed to feature 7 “quick hitters”, but you’re rambling about SNL? Does Eddie Murphy not being an original cast member have anything to do with how funny he is? Whether or not SNL is getting better all the time is a matter of opinion; you can’t state that as fact.
So let’s embrace trail running’s evolution. As the sport gets more popular, brands are investing millions of dollars a year … Just remember that the change we are seeing is what happens when a sport progresses to a wider audience, and that progress will bring more opportunities for everyone.
Um, OK. Brands supporting bigger name races is hardly new. I received a North Face WS100 backpack and other stuff with my WS100 entry in the mid 2000s. There were North Face adverts everywhere. You claim to be obsessed with Western states, but you don’t seem to know much about its history. Whether or not corporate investment is good for the sport is a matter of opinion. Though I agree with your stance, I know many who wouldn’t. The Rock and Roll series of races are very commercial, which has its benefits, but sometimes one wants a low-key race put on by the local running club. My local trail group put on a free ultra, and there were burgers at the end, stocked aid stations, hand crafted prizes, and all sorts of comradery.
3: Adam Peterman is a Petergod.
Yes, it was his first 100 miler. But Adam Peterman is not human … he seems to be improving all the time, applying what he learns with a down-to-earth humility and work ethic that makes him one of the most loved athletes on the planet.
Does he “seem to be” improving all the time, or is he improving all the time? If you were so shocked Adam Peterman wasn’t mentioned in other predictions, did you state pre-race how shocked you were? Post race WAHOOs and HUZZAHs don’t count.
No offense to Adam, but it he “one of the most loved athletes on the planet” when most people wouldn’t know his name? Did you mean most loved per capita? Is it “insane” how many race wins the man has collected if he’s as talented as you say (not disagreeing on his talent)?
He is a Marvel character with no tragic flaw, more god than man on the trails. Until something changes, you put some respect on the Petergod name and pick him first in every race he enters. On Saturday, he won by 33 minutes and made it look … super freaking fun. Adam is the god next door.
Did you pick “Petergod” as the winner pre-race? I thought Hurricane Jim Walmsley was the outlier; is Peterman in his club now?
4: Ruth Croft is putting together an argument for GOAT.
The predictions did not miss on Ruth Croft, who was selected first in both contests. She is fast and strong, excelling at short distances and 100 milers. I heard a statistic at the finish line that she has won 11 of her last 12 races…
Did you verify that statistic, or do Trail Runner readers not expect accuracy?
I personally can’t wait for the first sub-16:30 women’s time, and my bold prediction is that it’s coming within the next five years from Ruth or someone else with GOAT (Greatest Of All Time)-level credentials.
You’re supposed to call out acronyms the FIRST time you use them. Only 32? Do you realize that 32 isn’t all that young in a running career? Adam Peterman, on the other hand, IS young for someone winning major ultras. If another woman wins WS100 next year, will Ruth be abandoned as GOAT? Do you realize the “AT” of GOAT means ALL TIMES?
5: The most fun way to race is from the back. The most exciting way to race is from the front.
In the back of the WS 100 field, you’d be risking aid station cut off times, and I can’t imagine that would be fun. Are having fun and being a frontrunner mutually exclusive? Are excitement and being a back-of-the-pack runner mutually exclusive?
Everyone is getting so damn fast that the conventional wisdom of starting easy and closing quickly is becoming increasingly difficult. People may fade, but barely, and by then they may already be 90 minutes ahead! The come-from-behind strategy was perfectly executed in 2022 by Leah Yingling. Early in the race, she was around 20th place. By the finish, she moved all the way up to 6th!
Define “barely”? I saw plenty of runners, including elites, fade significantly this year in WS100. News flash: sometimes moving from 20th to 6th means a one-minute (or less) gain; it depends on the spread from 20th to 6th. Also, moving from 20th to 6th is hardly “racing from the back” in a race with 350+ runners.
Every time an athlete starts one of these things, they have no idea what’s going to happen. It’s a completely unpredictable, life-affirmingly beautiful, stupidly brilliant shitshow.
But it took perfect, pragmatic execution.
How does one execute pragmatically if the race is completely unpredictable?
Many racers had a similar plan, and few had it work out. Times are just improving so fast that it relies on lots of athletes having bad days, or you having a great day, showing immense trust in your fitness. Let’s go back to 2009, a year with similar weather. In that year, Leah’s time would have finished 2nd. In 2013, her time wins. In 2016, her time is 2nd. In all of those years, 6th place is more than 90 minutes behind her!
Going by times only, sure. However, there are more variables in play. Leah being present in 2009 or 2013 would have likely affected (I’m sounding like you) how the other women ran, as they’re competing against each other.
My current working theory (that still needs to be vetted before it’s applied for athletes I coach) is that athletes looking to emulate Leah need to lean on a similar history of results if they are looking for a top-10 finish, or they should consider going out slightly harder and taking a bigger risk. They might not have as much fun as Leah, and it will come with a higher chance of a DNF, but it may give them a bigger margin for error.
“Might not”, “may give”, sheesh; you aren’t giving me a lot of confidence. I’m confused – you say Leah’s style works for her but then say she is a great athlete no matter how she races. You mentioned how Leah went from 20th to 6th, or being conservative (to a point), but then say your athletes should consider going out faster and taking a bigger risk.
Also, there’s no “one size fits all” in racing. I know people with similar PRs as I have, and what works for them doesn’t always work for me and vice versa.
6: Heat acclimation is old school. Cooling techniques and getting fast as hell are the new hotness.
I think one of the main reasons for this rapid progression in the speed of athletes is our understanding of dealing with the heat…
Getting fast will make one improve? Damn, you blew me away with that earth shattering fact. I’d give you a big hug, but wouldn’t want to break your ribs. Heat acclimation for WS100 may be “old school” but it’s also logical and recommended. I’m sure the cooling technology can curb the amount of heat acclimation needed, and that’s great. However, I’m guessing cooling vests can get tricky – the lighter ones are surely super expensive, cooling techniques using evaporation to cool will be less effective in humidity, and there are portions of the course with long periods between aid stations.
Almost every athlete is pushing some form of speed work and applying principles that have been honed over decades of advancement in training theory. Ultras are not a totally different sport than track and road racing–it’s the same skill set, just spread out over longer times. Running economy matters…
Jesus Christ; do you realize that ultrarunners have been doing speed work for decades? Does non-optimal running economy mean you’re going to be “left in the dust” if you’re an otherwise powerful, fast athlete? Ever see Paula Radcliffe run?
7: The sport is unpredictably predictable.
On the Thursday before the race, we published Dr. Marshall Burke’s predictions for times that it would take to win and finish 10th for both men and women … Trail Runner magazine is always bringing you that reliable science content.
Way to plug your rag, bud. Just want to tell you that you don’t need the word “that” in the last sentence.
Notably, both the 10th place times were predicted to be slower than they were, again showing just how fast the sport is progressing. Adam’s time was the only one that was behind expectations, and that’s probably because the rising Jim Walmsley tide raises all athlete ships, with others going out incredibly fast in years he races in order to have a chance of competing.
I don’t think predicted times being slower than actual times prove anything without knowing the numbers behind the predictions. You do realize that Peterman has run similar times to Walmsley in other races, right? You really can’t call him Petergod, and then act like he’s nothing compared to Walmsley.
But the statistics don’t tell much of the story. Almost every racer went through the highest highs, and the lowest lows. Take Katie Asmuth … Her time may be a statistic, but what that misses are the tears of joy and relief she shared with her crew and family at the finish. They saw her do something that seemed impossible. That triumph will inspire me for the rest of my life.
Everyone’s time, DNF, or even DNS is a statistic. Everyone’s stats miss any emotions involved. Numbers are numbers, not meant to be emotional.
There were hundreds of racers, all going through so much. Some race stories ended with happy finish line tears, others ended with the sad tears of a dream running up into the cold reality: this sport is damn hard. Every time an athlete starts one of these things, they have no idea what’s going to happen. It’s a completely unpredictable, life-affirmingly beautiful, stupidly brilliant shitshow.
It’s not completely unpredictable. There should be a semicolon, not a comma in that second sentence. Good thing you don’t make a living as a writer, oh, riggghhht. It’s OK, though, my writing is trash as well! Woohoo; trash writers unite! Also, it’s funny you mention how absolutely unpredictable ultrarunning is shortly after bragging about how close Dr. Burke’s predictions were. Just sayin’.
Katie’s literal shitshow was 9th in 2022. Every year is immensely different…
The sport is changing. And it’s so freaking fun to try to keep up.
I hope she didn’t have a literal shitshow this year. If every year is so immensely different, why are you comparing times?